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MARK TWAIN, that consummate wordsmith, had a soft spot for Bermuda, it seems. "You go to Heaven if you wish," he wrote. "I'll stay right here."
The great author wasn't thinking of the Royal & Ancient game when he expressed his sentiments -- Bermuda had no courses in his day and in any event he referred to golf as "a good walk spoiled" -- but they'd be endorsed by any golfer visiting for the first time. In my experience, as one who once knew it well, Bermuda's is inimitable.
On my previous visit as a foot-loose young reporter I had popped in intending to stay for a month or three. But a pretty lady golfer had other ideas. I stayed for five years.
Only recently, and many years later, I returned to confirm that memory hadn't dulled the sheen of Bermuda's compelling beauty: its sapphire waters; the unsullied beaches of pink sand; its pastel-coloured buildings; the floral panoply that paints a rainbow, one end dipping into that dazzling harbour...
The poignant script compiled in my youth was virtually unchanged, although memory had re-written a line or two. There's a touch more traffic these days, but the speed limit is still 20 mph, a fair indication of the pace of life.
Building development remains stringently controlled in volume and height -- Hamilton's towered cathedral is the capital's tallest structure, visible on virtually every skyline. Front Street, the main street where cruise liners hitch up each week, was just as memory dictated, except that some of its restaurants are a tad more exotic.
Crass commercialism is still anathema in the oldest self-governing British colony -- my visit coincided with a two day Parliamentary debate on the question of allowing a fast food chain onto the island: the move was rejected. Nothing is allowed to intrude on that gentle ambience still redolent of those heady pre-war days when Bermuda was the holiday venue for much of Western society, most of whom had summer homes there.
In those days it was known as the millionaire's playground and yachts were the preferred mode of arrival. One needed to be both well-keeled and well-heeled.
The boom in post-war aviation ended all that and what became known as the jet-set decamped south, to the Caribbean. But Bermuda remains a five star destination where quality is paramount in cuisine, service, facilities and accommodation.
The latter ranges from svelte hotels and exclusive lodges to beach-side cottages and small guest houses and apartments, all overlooking the harbour or the ocean beaches. Golf aside, the attractions are legion. There's something to suit every taste and most budgets. Ordinary folk with a sense of style will be as welcome as any millionaire.
That's another common factor: the welcome couldn't be warmer. The locals stop just short of hugging visitors and nothing is too much trouble.
"No problems," is the standard reply to any request, but there'll be no hurry, either. Bermudians are so laid back they're almost horizontal.
And, perhaps because their standard of living is among the highest in the world, they never stop smiling. They've long since twigged what Mark Twain was on about, all those years ago.
BERMUDA had only five courses back in the 1950s: now there are eight and soon there'll be another. The steady increase is part of a plan to keep the island's life-blood surging, to stay in the forefront of up-market tourism.
Thus it continues to attract thousands of golfing visitors each year, mainly from the United States but in increasing numbers from Britain and Europe.
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